It’s been way too long, and I forgot about this blog for a while. Well, I didn’t actually forget; it was a doozy of a semester, both in terms of workload, and also emotionally. More on that in a minute. The other thing is that I’ve come to realize I’m not the most eloquent of bloggers. Prose isn’t really my thing. I have friends who blog, who blow me away with their beautifully crafted thoughts. I was thinking I’d stick to writing songs, and leave the blogging to them, but I’m not a quitter, either….

So, here’s the nitty gritty:

Since January of this year, my ca125 has been doubling. At last check, it was 89. It’s concerning. I’ve been scanned every month, and they’ve all come back clean, which is encouraging. From what I’ve read on The Google, evidence of disease usually shows back up within 2-5 months of the elevated ca125. I just completed “month 4” NED, despite elevation. That makes me feel hopeful. Maybe it’s elevated because of something else…the breakup of scar tissue from regular, strenuous Cross Fit? An infection? I caught a really bad cold in January, which landed me with a pleural effusion. That’s not normal. It’s since resolved itself, but who knows…My doc put me on Tamoxifen (an estrogen blocker) to, in his words, make my body a “less friendly environment” for any cancer that might be brewing. At the end of May, I’ll have labs drawn again, and we’ll see. It’ll be month 5. I feel absolutely perfect; as perfect as I felt 6 weeks ago, six months ago, a year ago…nothing’s changed. I feel hopeful.


Since my semester finished, I’ve been able to clean my apartment and catch up on sleep. I’m feeling much less stressed out. Heck, I’m feeling downright calm now. Physically, I feel fine. Not a lump, not a bump, not a symptom of anything. Nothing’s changed. Here’s to month 5, and the rest of my cancer-free life!

I’m hopeful.




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