Geez Louise…

I’ll have to go back and check the date of my last post. I don’t even remember the last time I updated this blog. I’ve been busy. Being normal.

I had scans and blood work around Columbus Day, and not only were my scans clean, but my CA-125 WENT DOWN TO 13.6!!! That’s 8 points lower than it was, last time we checked. HOOOORAHHHHH!!!!! I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think about it. Nothing you do can change the numbers. You can’t reason with them, beg them to be what you want them to be. They just are what they are. I am SO unbelievably, stupidly lucky.

It’s been an intense semester, and it’s delightful to be consumed with school and the day to day minutia of life…”what shall I wear today? what about makeup? what will I do with my hair? whole foods or star market?” I’m the most complacent and comfortable that I’ve ever been, post diagnosis. Part of me is relieved. It’s so nice to strike a balance between Me, the cancer survivor, and Me, myself. I’ve started Cross Fitting, and it’s kicking my butt. It’s a privilege to be able to physically exert my body, so I try to remind myself of that on the regular.

We lost a member of our support group in late September, to the nastiest of breast cancers: metastatic, triple negative. She was 26 years old. She kept us at arms length while she was dying, which is a choice I respect. We found out a few days after the funeral. It made me sad to think that she was being buried, and we didn’t even know. We did go out to the cemetery to pay our respects. Mostly, it just felt weird. Death happens, I guess.

My hair’s getting so nice and long. I guard it like temple treasure. No, I don’t want to lose any length. No, don’t thin the ends, or give me awkward layers. Just let it grow!


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